Goodbye Summer '08

So Summer '08 is officially over.  It was kind of a weird feeling this summer because we all knew that this was the end of a lot of things and the start of even more new things.  It was terrifying and exciting all at once.  Following with tradition, we ended the summer at our booth at Vintage, and it was as amazing as ever.  But for me, this summer made me realize so many things.

I'm done with school.  It sucks, but I need to accept it and move on.  I realized that I can't rely on the safety net of class and work study and LehChew anymore, I can only rely on myself and my safety net of EP Ladies.  And trust me, that alone is a really sturdy safety net.  I'm really lucky.  But still, we're all going to move on and in the next couple of years we'll be moving all over the country, maybe even the world, and we'll be starting careers and getting married and having babies.  But as Jil and I were talking tonight, we both agreed that we were scared of ever having to work at keeping up our friendships.  The thing is though, I really don't think we'll ever have to.  Certain people in our group have come and gone but there is always the core of us that will never be torn apart.  Even if someday we go a year without talking, I know I can call Claudia or Jil of Carol and they will always be there.  Always.

So here are the things I have learned this summer.  I have learned that even though I tell people I don't want a boyfriend, I really do.  But I want the RIGHT boyfriend.  I want to be with someone who loves me the way I deserved to be loved and someone who I love the way THEY deserved to be loved.  Knowing me, the latter is more important and infinitely more challenging.  I want to not settle for anything less than I know I want or deserve- in anything.  I want a job that I will rock, I want a place of my own that I can feel at home in, I want to be surrounded by people that make me feel lucky to know them.

I know I talk about it a lot, but this is such a transition time for me and it's really scary.  They don't teach you this stuff in school and they don't have "A Talk" that your parents sit you down and discuss with you.  In a time like this, no matter who is around you, you are truly on your own.  It's scary but it's real and you have to find what works for you and what will make you happy.  Because in the end, as selfish as it may seem, you need to do what's right for you and in some ways only care about yourself in order to set a life out for you that is satisfying and rewarding.  I have gotten so much inspiration and life lessons from the people that I have loved and been friends with since we were in first grade, chosen to carry the sign in first grade for Mrs. Maybaum's class in the Halloween parade.  So here's what I'm going to do.  I'm going to start posting, bit by bit, The Sprinkles Story.  I'm going to let you in on the people and events that have made me, us, who we are today.  

Even though it went by intensely fast, this summer let me in on things that I know I deserve.  I went on one of the best vacations of my life with a group of people from the 'Berg that are amazing and funny and beautiful.  I got my heart stepped on once again while simultaneously slowly letting in someone that can either save me or break me.  I opened myself up to new possibilities by meeting people on my own without the backbone of friends.  I went out and got a job that I knew I wouldn't love but I also knew could teach me a whole mess of things.  I became closer to people that have only semi been in my life for, well, my whole life.  Specifically my sister.  At times I regret not getting close to her all these years but the timing just wasn't right.  But now, I can honestly say that not only is she my blood, she's my friend.  Someone that I can call at 4 in the morning and cry to or jump up and down ecstatically with.  My whole life I wanted a sister that was more than just someone who happened to share the same father as me and now I have it.  I have a piece of me that was missing for 22 years.

So now it's on to the next step.  I really have no clue what it is but I know what I WANT it to be and I am going to do whatever I can to make it happen.

Independence is the name of the game folks.  A cheering section would be greatly appreciated.  With signs.  And pom-poms.  And hot dogs and beer.  Feel free to tailgate.