Sprinkles Story...Part 3

Sex is weird.

Yeah it feels good and all that, but seriously, who thought of it?  Was it like some guy a bajillion years ago went up to some girl and was like, "Hey, what's that you got down there?  Is that a- is that a hole?  Like, just a hole, nothing else?  Hmm.  Strange.  See this thing I got?  Right there?  No, not those, on top of them, right- yeah, yeah that thing right there.  Well it kinda looks like what I got could fit in what you've got.  Wanna try it?  No?  Come on, we got nothing else to do.  Seriously, what's the worse that could happen.  If it doesn't fit I'll take it out, we'll go kill some wooly mammoths or something.  Ok?  Yeah?  Sweet."

And civilization was born.

Seriously though, losing one's virginity has got to be one of the most awkward things ever.  I don't know a single person who had one of those first times you see in the movies, with rose petals and candles and music and a guy whose waited a full month before jumping in the sack.  I remember when my entire group of friends started losing our virginity, one by one.  It was like an epidemic of thrust thrust done.

 Carol told me about her first time when we were sitting in the basement of a friend's house during a party.  Carol and I were just becoming super close as friends, so that would make it around 9th grade.  So we were sitting on this couch, being kind of socially awkward because even though we knew a bunch of people there, we didn't necessarily like any of them.  A guy we knew that would spend the entire next year making out with his girlfriend up against Carol's locker, had just given us an unnecessary drunken lap dance.  When we didn't give him the let's-have-a-threesome-right-now reaction he was looking for, he stormed away, muttering "Dude, fuck this" under his breath.  For whatever reason, this turned the conversation between Carol and I to sex, which would become a main staple in our conversations, even to this day.

Carol was explaining to me the latest hook up she had had and I was explaining how annoying it was that I hadn't even kissed a guy yet and I was already 14 years old (even though when I hear about 14 year olds now hooking up with each other I automatically think 'What the hell?  You're so young!'), when a certain tall, dark, and not even remotely handsome guy walked into the room and right by Carol.

"Oh god, I can't believe he's here." She said as we watched him walk out the basement door.

I knew that Carol and the guy had dated on and off, and I also knew that he was a complete douchebag.  To put it lightly.

Carol then turned to me and explained that not only was that guy her first kiss, but also the person she had lost her virginity to.

"He wanted to do it right away," she said, "but I told him I wasn't ready.  So we waited awhile and then we did it and it was just like, oh, that was it?"

Claudia's loss of virginity had a much more exciting build up to it.  You know how everyone has that person, that one guy or girl that has put them through such an emotional roller coaster over the years, yet you can't seem to ever get away from them?  Well this guy Bill was Claudia's person.  Everyone and their dog knew that Claud was going to lose her V-card to Bill, it was just a matter of when and where.  Well, not so much where, but definitely when.  In the last two or three months of our senior year of high school, the tension of Claud's remaining virginity was becoming unbearable, until one day she caught up with me at lunch while I was in line to buy one of those disgusting Cosmic Brownies, the kind that have those multicolored candies on top and are the consistency of rubber cement.

"Friday.  It's happening Friday."

"What's happening Friday?"

"Me and Bill.  Sex.  Penis in vagina."

Claud and I then had some sort of awkward girl jump up and down and scream thing go on, as if we were eleven and just got backstage tickets to a Hanson concert.

"You have to let me know how it goes, like as soon as possible."

"Oh honey," Claud said as she turned to walk away. "I'll call you during the cigarette."

I got the call the following Saturday morning while I was across the street at my neighbors house.

"I'm not a virgiiinnn." Claud sang as I picked up and said hello.

I then got the details on size, duration, and positions.  But I'll keep that between Claud and me.  And, well, Bill I guess, since he was there and all.

My own first time was interesting.  I had been dating this guy Brian for a couple weeks, and I was really really into him.  He was an all around good guy and quite good looking.  So we had been seeing each other for a little bit (this was about a month after the Claudia and Bill occurrence) , and one night after a bowling date, we found ourselves on my back couch making out.  That couch was our spot, where we ended every night spooning and kissing and being all lovey dovey.  A few years ago my parents got rid of the couches and even to this day whenever Brian comes over, he sighs and goes, "I miss our couch."

So anyway, we're on the couch and there's some heavy petting and moving and whatnot.  At one point I began to feel something start to creep around my insert-slang-word-of-choice-for-vagina-here.  A little tingly something I'd never felt before.  Of course, it never reached it's potential, but in my head, this almost-orgasm was obviously a sign that Brian and I should have sex the next day and not a moment later.  So the next day poor little un-suspecting Brian picked me up and we went to his apartment.  At the time, Brian worked the night shift at a tow truck company so he had the house to himself during the days.  So it was about 11:30 in the morning when we went up to his room and got into bed.  Brian's intentions were just to lay there and watch "Along Came Polly".  I had something else on my naive, unexperienced mind.

I'm obviously not going to share the details here, but let's just say Brian was taken by surprised, as was I when I realized that first time sex isn't as easy as you would think it would be.  But regardless of details, I would say that in no way do I regret my personal loss of little miss virginity.

An hour later, he was driving me home, neither of us talking.  Finally, as he was about to turn onto my street, he looked over and rubbed my leg.

"You ok?"

I smiled and nodded.  "Yep, I'm good."

"Ok, see you tomorrow." He gave me a kiss and I got out of the car.

Walking into my house, I immediately ran upstairs and called Claudia.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Hey.  Um, I think I just had sex."