Real Life Gives Me Cramps

So this right here is the only 2 minute block of time where I was sublimely happy about graduating college (I'm sensing an I-miss-college strand throughout these blogs of mine).  It was right after the ceremony ended and all the graduates walked a little procession type deal past all our families.  It was raining and miserable and everything that could have gone wrong that weekend did.  But this picture was taken right after I ran towards Rach and grabbed her in a hug and said something completely stereotypical like "We did it!" or "We graduated!"  We then walked down the procession holding hands in a glee induced haze.  Then we got to the end and realized we were soaking wet and never going to live on a campus with all our friends again.  So we cried.  Or I cried.  Someone cried.

So here I am, halfway through summer and still without a job.  A couple prospects, but it is actually pathetic the lack of effort I have put forth in finding any sense of employment.  Rach and I wanted to be moved out into an apartment by August.  I'll be surprised if we get there by December.  I'm about to turn 22 and on one hand I still feel like a baby, but slapping me in the face with the other hand is this persistent idea of "Grow up Alexis.  Just grow up."

So what exactly are the boundaries of age 22?  Am I still allowed to go out and get drunk and (carefully) slut myself out?  Am I allowed to have old dorm-room posters on my bedroom walls and am I still allowed to buy every single ounce of my clothing at Target?

Or do I have to buy a business suit and only stop by bars for happy hour on my way home from work?  Do I have to find a serious boyfriend and buy a fish together and spend Christmas at his parents' house in Connecticut with their little white fluffball of a dog that has never peed on the carpet....ever?

I'm caught between feeling too old to play beer pong but too young to settle down and buy a nice 4 door sedan.  

In that picture, I was both terrified and excited that I had my whole life ahead of me.  So why does it feel like my life has all of a sudden flown past in a big, maturity-drive whooooosh?