Half and Half

A couple of nights ago, I was out having drinks with someone who I haven't seen since I was a painfully shy, awkward fourteen year old who had the confidence of the Cowardly Lion and the body of a pre-pubescent boy. In the eleven years that have passed, I've grown exponentially. While still shy, I have reached a level of comfort with myself that is light years above what it used to be, and I'm now proud to say that I have settled into the body of at least a seventeen year old boy. I know, it's almost too hot to handle. Try to calm down, take a couple deep breaths...Good? Ok, moving on.

So this person I was out with, we started talking about relationships. Which, if ya'll haven't figured out by now, is right up my alley when it comes to conversation topics. I was saying how I like being part of a couple and how I sometimes feel like something's missing when I'm not. He then started to respond with what has become one of my biggest pet peeves:

"Well, you have to be happy with yourself before you can-"

"Stop." I cut him off. "I hate that answer."

I then proceeded to explain that for me personally, being half of a whole is what makes me feel whole. Having a partner in crime, someone to share you accomplishments and defeats with, a person who knows when you need a hug and when you just need to be left the fuck alone. You can be as happy as you want with yourself, but it is human nature to want a companion to share that happiness with.

My drinking buddy nodded and said ok, but I could tell he wasn't completely buying it. The subject was soon changed.

Later on that night, we were saying our goodbyes when he looked at me and said what I have come to realize is one of the most comforting things anyone has ever told me. He said,

"Don't be half of a whole. Because you're already whole."

It was such a simple two sentences but it really struck me. All of a sudden the whole idea of being in a relationship started to make more sense. It's not two halves making a whole- it's two already complete people teaming up to make two wholes. Because why give something 100% when everyone has the chance to bump it up to 200%?

It's funny how a few words strung together can provide just the right amount of calming clarity. And to the person who told me those words, Thanks.