Sessions: 5

"I'm going to become a cat lady."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm going to become one of those cat ladies, I know it.  I'm going to die in my apartment at thirty-five, surrounded by cats and ad campaigns."

My therapist shifted in her seat.  I noticed she shifted a lot.  Or maybe it was just me that made her do that.

"The only way that you're going to become a cat lady is if you let yourself become a cat lady."

I looked past her and noticed a bug on the wall, crawling across the top of one of her diplomas that was framed so pretentiously on the wall.  It was one of those stink bugs; the brown kind that seems to infest every wall of the city once spring hits.

"Have you thought more about my suggestion to take a vacation?"

The bug got to the corner of the frame and slipped, dangling for a moment before composing itself and continuing carefully down one side of the diploma.

"There are some great time shares this time of year that you could look into.  Just the other day my cousin found a fantastic deal to St. Thomas."

Around the bottom, up the other side...

"Would you be open to a singles cruise?"

...now clear across the wall to the window...

"I think I know someone that met their husband on one of those cruises actually."

...then disappeared into a crack along the base of the window pane.

I focused my attention back to the lady with the clipboard and squinted my eyes at her.

"I don't get it.  Why are you so obsessed with finding me some guy to date?  I'm perfectly fine on my own."

"I just thought it might help your boredom and also help you lighten up a little."

I scrunched back into the couch and crossed one leg over the other.

"You're awfully blunt for a therapist."