Ok, this entry involves some audience participation, if that's cool with you guys. Basically, I have a lot of questions that I need some answers to. Well, I don't need answers, I would just very much like some. I'm not going to cry myself to sleep if I don't get them. I have other reasons to cry myself to sleep. Like how every day I realize more and more that Louie C.K. is the man of my dreams.
To start things off, let me recount a conversation I had awhile back with a good male friend of mine. Me and this guy have been great buddies for close to ten years, so there's really no topic that's off limits for us; and since I am who I am, we often talk about sex.
He and I both like to be in control when we're doing it with our respective significant others, although for different reasons. I can only speak for myself, so I don't mind telling you that a good chunk of the reason why I like to lead is because I like sex to be painfully, mind-numbingly slow. Not the whole time, mind you. I'll go this way and that for the majority of it, but when it comes down to the big finale, the other person has to be borderline comatose for me to reach my happy place.
How appealing do I sound right now, huh fellas?
Anyway, in my quest to find out what the opposite gender really thinks about sex- which results in a constant interrogation of my poor, unsuspecting guy friends- I have found that when it comes to boys, it's pretty straight forward. They want to be in control because, well, they're boys. And even though they say that we should tell them what we want, some girls can take it to the point of bossiness.
Whoops.
But guess what? Sex is a power struggle. Always has been, always will be. And without spewing any female empowerment bullshit, if girls stepped up to the plate a little more in the sack, maybe that whole statistic of 75% of women never being able to achieve orgasm from sex will change. And even more importantly, 10-15% of women never reach the big O in their life. In. Their. Life.
Now do you understand why we can get bitchy? There's 10-15% of women out there who think that physical interaction with men consists of nothing more than wiping jizz off their boobs. Not okay.
So here's my first official question: Guys- Is it a mood killer for a girl to take control in bed, and basically tell you and/or show you what to do in order for her to have a good time?
Then my friend and I started talking about the stuff leading up to sex. I told him that I thought it was more important for a girl to be good at giving head than for her to be good in bed. He look confused for a second, so I went on to explain that when you're having sex, you can both be equally responsible for how it's done. If she's doing something you don't like, switch it up. But if she's bad at going down on you, you're kinda defenseless. Sure, you can move your hips a little or, if you're a jerk, you can push her head down (by the way, any guy that does this deserves to have his dick bitten off), but the peas and carrots of the situation is if homegirl can't bring her A-game, there's really no way to improve that.
"Holy shit," my friend then said, "You're right."
(By the way, a lot of people think the same thing goes for a bad kisser, but I'll let you in on a little trick that has never, ever, ever failed me. If the person you're with can't make out for shit, say to them, "I think we kiss differently. Here, just relax, and I'll show you how I like to kiss." Then take their face in your hands and kiss them, without really letting them kiss you back. Soon enough, they'll mold to your way. Trust me.)
Ok, second question: Guys and girls- Is it more important for your partner to be better at oral, or sex?
Aaand here comes the final question, but it has no backstory. Honestly, I'm just purely interested in the outcome because I think a lot of people act more innocent and wholesome than they really are.
How many of you have ever cheated?
Of course all answers for all questions can be anonymous and quite frankly, I'm realistic in the fact that no one will probably even respond. But if you do, cool. You've just become a better person in my book.
2 comments:
Better at oral-I like what you said about that. It's true. Also, yes I've cheated and to answer my own slightly bitchy question, no I don't think I'm a horrible person because of it.
Better at sex. I'm a female but totally agree with you on that aspect but Id just rather have good sex than good oral. I think my boyfriend would side with you saying better oral. Good thing I am! And I've kissed an ex while I was dating another boyfriend but nothing further. Mentally I've had lots of sex fantasies about cheating though.
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