For Janet

I have started, stopped, edited, and rewrote this entry many times.  For some reason it just never felt right, the words I was using to describe this wonderful person.  Then, a handful of Thursdays ago, I had one of those magical days where everything was right.  And I know it was because of you.

They say that one of the best ways to honor someone who is no longer with us is to celebrate and appreciate life.  On that Thursday, your 40th birthday, I have no doubt that it was you who made the sun beat down, the waves roll in, and two normally gloomy people feel like there was no way that in those moments, life could be any more perfect.

I also know you were at peace somewhere that day, shaking your head and laughing at the irony of who I was with.  There were multiple times when I imagined you in your green sweater, smiling and telling me, "Oh mama, you're crazy".

So I guess I just want to say thank you.  Thank you for that day.  Thank you for having my back from the moment I met you.  Thank you for sending me a mix of supportive, uplifting, and hilarious texts when my heart was breaking.  Thank you for keeping in touch with me after I left Barnes & Noble, and thank you for always asking how Kirby was doing.  Thank you for hugging me like you meant it every single time.

Thank you for being the most caring, thoughtful, selfless person I have ever met.  But most of all, thank you for allowing me to realize that life is delicate - it is not a guarantee and not something to be taken advantage of.  Because of you, I have found my way back to a place that I had been missing desperately.  I know you know exactly what I'm talking about, and I can't help but feel you had something to do with it.

I miss you - we all do.  It sound so trivial to say because just the word "miss" doesn't cover it.  When we laid you to rest, it was amazing to see the amount of people one individual had an impact on.  Barnes & Noble practically filled up half the seats, you would have been proud :)

So rest easy mama.  I think about you all the time and feel so lucky and honored to be able to call you my friend.