"Without Music, Life Would Be A Mistake" -Nietzsche

SARA BAREILLES

BASKET CASE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmS6gJ8hGp0

The first time I heard this song, I was in a serious relationship and very much in love. I also knew that very relationship was falling apart at the seams and no matter how much I was killing myself trying to save it, it was slipping through my fingers even though they were clutched as tightly as humanly possible.

I'm a big fan of buying CDs as opposed to just downloading music, so as I was on my way back from Best Buy, I slipped the disc into my car and pressed play. When this particular song started, it grabbed me immediately and as Sara Bareilles began to sing, I found myself instantly tuned into the lyrics. And the very first thing that came to my mind was, "God I hope this song never applies to me."

I was surprised at how insistent this feeling was, and listening to the song became almost painfully addictive. I loved the song so much but every time I heard it, I had this looming feeling of things to come.

Two months later, the relationship was over and I haven't been able to listen to the song since. Which sucks. It's a great song.

I know music affects people in different ways, but if you're anything like me, almost every significant event in your life has a soundtrack. I mean, I could write an entire list of songs that you could listen to if you're happy, broken-hearted, hopeful, devastated, terrified. But who am I to tell you how certain songs should make you feel?

The point I'm trying to get to is that I really do think it's amazing that musicians in any capacity (vocalist, guitarist, lyricist, etc) are able to evoke legitimate, powerful, sometimes life-altering emotions in people. When I was 15, I was battling some pretty bad depression because of reasons that don't really matter at this point. But there was one song, John Mayer's 3x5, that literally saved my life. I don't know what it was, but something about how he sang and what he sang and how the instruments blended in with it all struck me. And that's when I realized the power of music.

I've made friendships over a mutual love for a certain artist. At weddings, couples have their first dance to a 3 minute jumble of beats and melodies that encompass their entire relationship. Songs have made people cry, made them angry, made them unable to stop smiling. And, if we're riding the honesty train, that's pretty fuckin incredible.

I think that's part of what is so appealing to me about this whole music thing I'm doing. It means there's a possibility that I can touch someone's gut the way that other songs have touched mine.

I dunno, just something to think about.

My Most Pointless, Self-Indulgent Blog Yet

The other day at work, a few of us were talking about what kind of guys we like. Two of the older women half-jokingly said they would find a group of guys to screen so they could find the best one to set my friend and me up with. I also half-jokingly said I would make a list of my ideal man and bring it in the next day for them to use as a template. But then I got to thinking, hey, what's the harm in making a disgustingly detailed list and throwing it out into the blogosphere for someone to stumble upon? Maybe one of you fantastically faithful readers knows someone that fits my fancy.

So, without further ado, here it is; Alexis' idea of a perfect man:

Let's start with physical features because, let's face it, that's what you notice first and what usually supplies the initial attraction:

* I like my men tall. 6' and up. I myself am 5'7", so I want to have to stand on my tippy toes to kiss him, or be able to bury my head in his chest if he's hugging me while I cry for absolutely no reason. Also, on the rare occasion that I wear heels, that boosts me up to 5'10"-5'11", so I need my man to still be taller than me. Because yes, I have thought about my wedding, and no, I don't want to have to bend down to kiss my groom.

* As for age, I like them old. Not geriatric, but at least 30. I'm not and never have been into the whole 'Let's go out and party every night and then go home and play video games' mindset. I suppose I could go as low as 27 if the guy was really spectacular.

* While we're on the topic of video games, if you own an Xbox, you absolutely, positively, will never get in MY box.

* Ok, let's see... body shape. I like lean guys, the kind that have just the right amount of natural muscles. I don't care if you have a six-pack because you go to the gym 6 days a week. I'm not interested in your protein powder or how much you can bench. I would actually take a guy with some meat on his bones over a jacked up body builder any day.

* I love glasses. They're sexy as hell. And if you do have glasses, I will steal them and walk around the house in them because I've always wanted a pair of my own.

* Eye color doesn't matter too much, but if I had to choose, I would prefer blue or green.

* I don't trust blonde guys. There's just something about them. The very few times that I have gone against my instincts and dated one, they have just proven my point that they kinda suck. I like super dark hair, either practically black or dark brown. Or light brown. I guess anything but blonde. I also, for whatever reason, think it's weird to see two blondes dating each other. It's kinda like when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got together (I know they're not blonde, but just go with me), everyone was like, "Holy shit, they're kids will be gorgeous." Have you seen their kids? I'm not impressed.

...ok, that example worked a lot better in my head than it came across here...

* Facial hair facial hair facial hair. If you're a dude, never ask my opinion on whether or not you should shave your beard. The answer is no. Never, ever shave your beard. Ever.

*I've got a thing for left-handed fellas.

* I know this is going to make me sound like a teenager, but I think tattoos are hot. No face tattoos though. And I'm not a fan of leg tattoos. But if you're covered from your neck to your waist, call me.

* Earrings are fine as long as you have at least two. Not a fan of the single earring.

* No me gusta jacked up teeth.

Ok, now that the shallow part is out of the way, I'm just gonna throw a bunch of random things out there:

* I would prefer you went to college. It doesn't make you a bad person if you didn't, it's just that if two very similar guys were standing in front of me and one went to college and the other didn't, I would pick the one with the degree.

* Please have a job and subsequently know how to handle your money. Not because I want you to spend any of it on me, that's not my style. I make my own money, I'm good. But because I'll be damned if I have to spend another weekend in the dark because someone chose to spend their money on beer instead of bills.

* Parents love me. So it'd be cool if you have a good relationship with them so I can then swoop in and charm their pants off.

* When you find out I was an English major, do not ever ask me if I want to be a teacher and who my favorite author is. The answer is, I would sooner die and I don't have one.

* I'm sarcastic and have a filthy mind and I think burps and farts are hilarious. So if you can't take a joke, don't want to hear "That's what she said" after everything, and want a girl who drinks martinis instead of beer and eats salads with low-fat dressing instead of massive amounts of chocolate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I'm not your gal. I also don't exercise so don't waste your time asking me to go to the gym with you. I've got important tv to watch instead.

* If you don't love my dog, I don't love you.

* Super nice, polite guys make me nervous. Find a happy medium and we'll be good. If I look pretty, tell me. If I'm being a giant twat, tell me.

* You have to be willing to hang out with my friends just as much as I hang out with your friends.

* I'm 100% done with being the one that drives to the guy. You can come pick me up.

* I hope you don't still live with your parents. Especially since I like guys in their 30's.

* I'm not at all religious and I don't know if I could date someone who was.

* Wouldn't it be swell if we could carry on a conversation? Like, every time we talked, not just the first few dates?

* I snort when I laugh and I sometimes break into song and dance for no reason. Hope that's ok.

* Please, please, please use proper English. Seriously. Please.

*Don't think that just because I write about sex means I'm down for the rodeo. I'm actually super modest and traditional when it comes to all that stuff. So yeah, sorry to disappoint.

So, of course I'll never find someone that fits that whole list. The whole idea of a list is pretty silly, actually. I'm feeling kind of shallow right about now... But the whole point was to write down all of my unrealistic expectations and then hope that I can find someone who possesses at least a few of them. Because if you're awesome, I'm not going to run the other way just because you have brown eyes or didn't go to school. The only thing that's a deal breaker is the Xbox. Homegirl wasn't fucking around about that.